And I'm like wow, seriously mum, thanks for making me feel useless.
Let me just say that parents could be so annoying and growing sucks popsicles.
After news about Pandelela Rinong winning bronze in the platform diving, my mum showed me the newspaper and then told me indirectly me how useless I am in comparison.
WOW.Well,...wow...I don't know how to really respond to her without being rude but this is what I said to her "well, it's pretty much your fault you didn't place me in any sports." rudeness yes but how the heck am I suppose to respond?
"Oh wow, my mum, you're right, I am phucking useless and I'm gonna start taking up swimming and get into the olympics"
Huu....ray
MUM..........I AM PHUCKING USELESS!!!......I CUT MYSELF AT NIGHT SO I'LL DIE ON MY BED AND YOU'LL START FEELING LIKE DOOKIE THAT YOU DRIVE YOUR DAUGHTER TO MISERY.
Haha just kidding. No, I don't cut myself and neither am I suicidal. Suicide is for cowards and seriously overused,cliche way of dying. At least freaking die with honour or something, take up samurai lessons and start fighting serial killers,risky job and you might get killed. At least we know you died fighting for something.
Anyway, I'm definitely peeved today. My mum made me feel useless. Yea I know the news about the Pandelela winning bronze for diving in the Olympics. My mum being like a stereotypical mum has the tendency to make me feel like dookie when she sees someone young or anyone around my age range achieving something magnificent and then compares me to him/her. It's like I'm pepsi and the other person is coke
It phucking upsets me. How can I not? I feel like someone who is just put in this world to just fill up space because I couldn't measure up to bar which says "achievement...hooray"
Wow, I must be so freaking depressed that I actually blogged about this. Wow. Just wow. What am I am freaking doing with my life? Honestly, I know I'm not the only person who feels like crap after self-introspection... so I wonder how do people just get out of their hellhole?
And I could just wish God would actually sprinkle his "miracle dust" on me so I would become this superhero. And bam, everything is just beautiful as I hope it to be.
I know my mum wished that I or my siblings got some kind of talent in doing something like gifted other people. Well, the sad fact is I'm not like one of those gifted other people. I am not smart to get all A's in my exams, I'm not gorgeous to win a beauty pageant , or neither am I good at sports to get into the Olympics.
I'm just a sensitive silly girl who writes and draws your mind out and a really good listener... . Really, there is no pleasing my mum. I'm never good enough for her. For the record,I could never hate her . I don't hate Pandelela either. All I could say is congratulations to her that she did well in the Olympics and oggy oggy oggy.(i think that's what Brits say in sporting events.) She achieve something in her life that is magnificent and she made the whole country acknowledge her. That's called lady power!
But honestly, my mum is really not cool for making comparisons. But you know that's how people are in generally....
For now, I have my exams coming along...soon and yes I do study and revise. And you're wondering why the heck am I still blogging? I can't be sitting down and always facebook-ing. Get it?
I hope some of you would be probably reading and thought I'm completely mental. Well, fact is yes I am mental. I was originally was placed in an asylum for violently throwing a glass plate at my sister, knocking her head into a wall.
After years of medication and counselling and also being on good behaviour, I was released. Orderlies are never there to help you, they just want to look forward towards their stupid paychecks and they are seriously sick perverts. By the way, psychiatrist are the most mental toilet rolls, they only want to learn about the bad stuff about your life and try make it like it never happen so you'll end up being peachy.
Hooray for psychology.... Screws up your mind but makes you feel you a thousand times better until God helps you finally realise that counsellors are manipulative liars pretending they are people who you can trust but ends up telling everyone else your secret and sometimes sleep with other people's spouses. Ironically, marriages counsellors are like that.
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| I FREAKIN LIED!!!!! |
Any psychologists reading this and thought I need help, well you just got punked . I lied. I was never admitted in any hospital, haha but I am really mental. No I don't want to talk about my feelings because honestly no one really would really full heartedly listen to me. Trust me, I have so many rude people cut me off after I started the first few sentence of my "feelings". I guess that's why that me makes me a great listener except for the people I have utmost dislike, then I don't want to acknowledge your existence.
If I don't like you, I'll avoid you. Simple as that. Not really,.... I might kinda talking trash about you. I know I really shouldn't and I will definitely try not to because every time you start dookie about others, God will make sure your tongue gets cut, burn or bitten. God is merciful but he will make sure you learn your lesson. So you better bite your tongue!
Alright I think I said enough, time to screw my head back. This post is a little difficult to write mainly because I cried thinking over about what my mum said. But no matter what I know God has a plan and everything in his hands. I heal, you know.I ain't happy but, I'm feeling glad.I got sunshine, in a bag.I'm useless, but not for long.The future is coming on. GORILLAZ!!!
