Lately, I feel like everyone thinks I'm weird. Weird in a negative light. And for some reason, it makes me more agitated. But to more honest, it because of a boy. You see, people, I told you what love can do to you, it really messes you up. And make you so angry, that you want to rip their heart out to maybe feel something.
Now, I don't have many friends. But when I do, I got pretty darn good ones, that's because they accept me for who I am even I do things that are sometimes out of norm or a "one person fandom" as they say.
If I decide to boil my teeth, they could say I'm weird but in the end of the day, they're still good friends of mine. Yes , I boiled my extracted teeth to destroy, obliterate, vanquish , wipe out , *insert other pompous synonyms* any bacteria off my teeth to make into a necklace.
Why I do this, am I insane, you ask.
I wanted to make a tooth necklace because I was inspired to do so. But unfortunately, I'm not allowed to use a driller to make a hole, so I might have to think of other ways to make it into a necklace.
check out my teeth |
Anyway, this post is really incoherent just like my addled mind.
Half the time, I say words with no meaning. But it makes me happy and smile for some reason.
I wish I could be happy person forever, but that would suck because that would be boring and put a massive block on inspiration.
Back to my feelings, I feel so pressured by people sometimes, mainly by peers and adults. I just finished my exams and I'm thinking back, did I study enough to get an A, did I do better than my friends, can this make my parent feel less shit about their daughter who didn't live out their expectations like other children?
What is with parents comparing children? Every time my parents talk to other married couple with children, the inevitable topic that pops up is about their children.
"Oh, my daughter got a scholarship and is off to UK to pursue a degree in medicine, what did your daughter accomplish?" says Mrs.Show off pompous ass.
And I kid you not, mostly Chinese mothers talk about this kind of things, it's their past time.Now, I go to church and sit down with the mothers of the church and almost every time, they're always comparing about their children. And all of them are housewives, a real stereotype. Asian and women.
Why do parents do that? I get their your progeny is your legacy and everything, but doesn't that put tons of pressure on your kid to maintain that status ? Is it to make you look good or make you feel a lot better about yourself than others? Can you not revel in your child's success by showing off to others and make other children feel as if they are incompetent?
Some people don't understand humility until something becomes a turning point for them.
I sound like I hate myself . I know a lot of about self-loathing, it can get pretty annoying to other people if you post it as a status on facebook and these people can make you feel a lot of worse about yourself.
Which is why, blogging is a better outlet, at least when people read it, it's at their own risk and you couldn't care less about the mockery you get.
Haters gonna hate.
Nevertheless, I always get over this kind of hate by the blogging it out. I think it's good to let it out once in a while rather than have it bottled in inside you and kills you slowly.
I think I had enough of venting out my frustrations, I feel a little better. Well, I guess watching My Little Pony is also helpful in one way.
Sorry this is a long post but this is Obie, signing off. POOF.
Sorry this is a long post but this is Obie, signing off. POOF.