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| Trent Northwick from Bully,boy with a valley accent |
Anyway people, sorry for the late update. I've been busy, things are hectic for me. I've become obnoxiously emotional too. I really want to cut off my tear glands so I'll stop crying about not being able to fly. (serious about the crying part, joking about the flying part, duh).
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| i'm sorry but i'm crying but it seems my batoki(butt)is too heavy to fly |
So people, how are things going for me? Hectic and crazy and annoying. Exam is coming up and believe or not, exam will start on Saturday.
WHAT THE *insert foul censored word*?!
It seems like the new principal is so disappointed with the attendance of students last Saturday which is a school day that she finds a better solution for students to compulsory attend school on Saturday. Y U DO THIS TO US? Oh yea the most sensible answer is because she cares about us. Wow, really? I feel so loved. Wow, we should be punished more then because you care about us so much. In fact, if I ever forget to do more homework, make me run 50 laps on the field, and I run knowing that you cared about me and not feel humiliated anyhow. NOT.
Jokes aside, yesterday I did attend school which is on a Saturday for debate training. There is this debate competition coming up this week and I really wanted get selected as one of the speakers for the competition. The competition is called Novice, it's a debate competition for beginners or those not on the expert level or people who have not entered any international/worldwide debate competitions. I thought I had a good chance getting it but unfortunately I did not get selected because I have debated since last year. I was really feeling disappointed and upset. Wow, but I'm happy for the other debaters who made it. LIAR!!! How the heck can you expect to feel happy, I can't be happy for myself, let alone the people who got selected. Jealous much? Definitely. Hate the feeling of losing? Oh yea. Makes you want to slit someone's throat? You have no idea what I imagined I want to do to people.
You know when contestants on competition tv shows like American Idol or America's Next Top Model compete and want to make it to the shortlist, when one of the contestants gets booted out or eliminated and that one contestant emerged as the winner. And reporters starts asking about how do you feel about your loss?
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| my grandma thought you were wearing a bra at one point |
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| wtf?he's a dude. me too! |
This is what they say:
"I feel alright, I'm happy for *whomever's name*, he/she deserves to win. I feel glad to made it this far."
WHAT A GIANT LOAD OF CRAP!!!
This is what they want to say:
"How do you think I feel, I feel upset,duh. I should have won."
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Because that's how I feel, you may think it doesn't apply to everyone but honestly deep down they felt upset they did not win. Because the feeling of winning means you had achieved something that you wanted and losing meh... isn't a great feeling. I pretended to be alright but honestly I wasn't and could not be happy for others who made it. That sounds so selfish of me. But don't be a liar, everyone is like that.
The whole time after the selected people were announced and knowing my name wasn't called, I was faking to be okay/cool but heck I'm was not. One of the really bad attributes of me is jealously. Jealously really makes me go insane and prioritizes the pessimism. Damn it, damn it, damn it. After it was over, went back home and took a stomach ache pill because I was having a stomach ache completely out of the blue and head to my room. The anticipation was the waterworks was going to happen. And what do you know, I cried and lament about how terrible I was and how it was unfair and everything. I was being completely whinny.
Now why do I say it was unfair? Honestly, when we had preparation time for the debate topic/motion, I was helping this newbie girl with her substantive and told her to be clean and make things clear. But for me I had to substitute a role for another speaker as a Prime Minister because she had to leave early. So I wasn't organized in my speech because it was really last minute . Eventually, when the mentor gives out remarks to everyone, she said I was too angry during my speech and wasn't clear on my case . That is true, I was angry. But I wasn't angry at my friend who had to leave the PM role to me and do everything last minute and mess up a little. I was actually angry at a girl who don't know how to zip her mouth like a padlock(ha, kesha reference) after I answer her POI.(point of information; a question ask during a speech) .
(Btw, a padlock cannot be zipped XD)
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| shut it and zip it |
In the rules of a debate, you have to shut your mouth after the speaker answered your question.
She had done this more than once, not only to me but to other speakers. I find her plain rude and annoying. When a speaker who is on her team takes a POI which is bound to poke a hole in his substantive, she actually said "don't take it, idiot." Wow, just seriously I'm irked by rude people and people who insults others.
Another reason why I say it's unfair, the newbie girl I helped with her speech. She made it through..wow, unbelievable. I had learn to debate since last year and never made it to any debate competitions. This girl on her first try made it. Of course, I started introspecting and loathing myself. I don't hate her but I can't force myself to feel happy for others. In spite of the unfairness, she encouraged me to try for tomorrow's debate selections and believe I could make it. She truly is a nice person, we barely know each other and as long as I debated in my life, she is the only speaker/teammate who encouraged me and believed I can do it. .
I really wish there more people like her who gives words of encouragement and uplift a person's hopes and dreams.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it for the next debate which is today.Homework and a presentation is in the way and yet here I am typing about how lousy yesterday was . But there's always a silver lining in every cloud. That silver lining is the girl who gave words of encouragement. So people, I finally expressed these thoughts and feel slightly better than bottled them up in my confined head and let you people know how I feel..(whether you hate it or not, doesn't matter as long I finally had my opinion finally expressed on my blog) because half-dead people have feelings too. And here's a quote that probably inspire you because you know quotes from the wise people/dead people always inspires people and prove other people wrong and whatever quotes are utilized for.
Words are both better and worse than thoughts, they express them and add to them. They give power for good and evil. They start on endless flight, instruction and comfort and blessing or injury,sorrow and ruin.- Tyron Edwards
Oh yea, in my previous post about CNY, I was going to write about how it went and I did but decided not to post it because it's was so boring. So I decided to let you people read about my whiny complaining and etcetera etcetera. Anyway, I also continue on with twitter so if you want to know what else I goes on in my infected mind, you could follow me on twitter if you wanna. >>>> rkarcade.(make fun of my messy hair) but preferably don't or I'll report you for stalking. Just kidding.
SEE YA, oh by the way you just won "adhesive medical strips"
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